Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
