I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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