I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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