Please, let me fuck your mom
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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