I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
