mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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