I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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