we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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