she was so not down for the gang bang
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Randomize
