Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize