She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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