1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
