i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
