the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
