We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
