I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
