I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize