I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
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Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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