hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.