im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.