I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
