Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
