I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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