we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Your penis caused this!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
