I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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