dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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