Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
