I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
