Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
