We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
