So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
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