Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
