Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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