watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Randomize