That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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