she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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