That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize