Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
