shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
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