It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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