I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
