I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
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I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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