At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
