thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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