shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
third nipple confirmed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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