if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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