careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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