Me too!
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Randomize
