If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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