how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
