Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
