oh fat girl friday strikes again...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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