so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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