Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
