my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize