were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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