I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think i have two assholes
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
