To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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