Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
